My family was never into Chinese takeout. Growing up in my parents’ house meant home-cooked meals and freshly baked breads every single night (my mom is a well-respected baker and culinary instructor in my town and writes a food column in the local paper). I was completely and utterly spoiled…I just didn’t know it.
Ask any of my four siblings and they will all tell you the same thing. We were oblivious to what we had and spent school lunch hours yearning for a friend’s Wonder Bread sandwich and Cheetos, all while in possession of an almond butter and fruit preserve sandwich on a homemade whole grain seeded loaf.
Needless to say, my mom was ahead of the curve when it came to food. Long before the Sriracha craze we were squirting the orange sauce all over bowls of bibimbap, just a casual Tuesday night in my 4th grade life. I digress.
The grass is always greener, right? I wanted my family to be normal (normal meaning dinner came from a brown bag with plastic utensils and little packets of duck sauce). Part of me blames my constant junk food cravings on childhood deprivation…but the point is, I freaking love fried rice and any dish that can be ordered by number on a menu (is this only a thing at Asian restaurants?).
Tonight’s challenge was to use up the rest of my cauliflower and satisfy a pang for Chinese takeout. Enter: cauliflower rice. Guys, this stuff is good. And it’s easy. And most importantly, it’s guilt-free. Okay, so maybe it’s not quite as greasy and salty as the stuff from a takeout box but I promise it won’t disappoint!
Ingredients (for 2 servings):
1/2 a head of cauliflower
8 baby carrots
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 teaspoon of oil
1 tablespoon of soy sauce
2 teaspoons lime juice
1 tablespoon of rice wine vinegar
Sriracha and extra soy sauce to taste (also: if you have ginger or coconut oil on hand, it will definitely kick up the flavor)
Vegetable mix-ins: I sauteed 1 cup of raw kale, 1 cup of corn, 1/2 cup of edamame, 1 cup of broccoli florets, and 1 Tofurky spicy sausage
Chop up the cauliflower head in large chunks and place into a food processor. My food processor is a lil mini guy, so I had to do this in two rounds.
Pulse the florets until the entire processor is filled with a rice like mixture.
Foodie geek moment: processed cauliflower is beautiful – it is iridescent and snow-like and magical.
Set the cauliflower mixture aside in a bowl and use the same process to grind up the carrots. You could also leave them in larger chunks, just chopping them, so that they stay crunchier and heartier in the stir fry.
In a large pan, saute the garlic and oil over medium heat for 3-5 minutes. If you are adding shredded or minced ginger, now would be the time. When the garlic has begun to sizzle, add in all of your veggies and mix-ins. Saute for 8-10 minutes.
In the same pan, dump in the cauliflower rice and carrots. Add all of your soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, lime juice, and a few squirts of Sriracha for heat. Stir the mixture until the liquids are fully incorporated and cover the pan, allowing the rice to cook for about 4-5 minutes.
Remove the top and, keeping the pan over medium to high heat, carve a spot out in the middle and crack an egg. Let the egg white and yolk begin to sizzle and scramble it a bit with a fork as it cooks.
When the egg begins to reach the consistency of scrambled eggs, go ahead and stir together all of the rice, incorporating the eggy mixture.
Take a taste and add any additional spices or soy sauce if needed. Serve and enjoy!